more vocab

in·vei·gle [in-vey-guhl] –verb (used with object)


1. to entice, lure, or ensnare by flattery or artful talk or inducements (usually fol. by into): to inveigle a person into playing bridge.
2. to acquire, win, or obtain by beguiling talk or methods (usually fol. by from or away): to inveigle a theater pass from a person.





tau·tol·o·gy [taw-tol-uh-jee] –noun
1. needless repetition of an idea, esp. in words other than those of the immediate context, without imparting additional force or clearness, as in “widow woman.”
2. an instance of such repetition.
3. Logic.
a. a compound propositional form all of whose instances are true, as “A or not A.”
b. an instance of such a form, as “This candidate will win or will not win.”



en·sconce [en-skons] –verb (used with object)
1. to settle securely or snugly: I found her in the library, ensconced in an armchair.
2. to cover or shelter; hide securely: He ensconced himself in the closet in order to eavesdrop.



e·pis·te·mol·o·gy [i-pis-tuh-mol-uh-jee] –noun
- a branch of philosophy that investigates the origin, nature, methods, and limits of human knowledge.

- The branch of philosophy that studies the nature of knowledge, its presuppositions and foundations, and its extent and validity.

thanks a lot, dennis

i ran into my old "friend" and former roommate dennis today. after we exchanged the compulsory "how's it going?"'s, i divulged that my paper had been accepted, but that it needed "major" revisions. he was inquired as to the nature of the "major" revisions. i told him that no further experiments were needed, only a massive overhaul of the text. his response to this was, "oh, it doesn't mean your science is bad; it just means you're a really bad writer." thanks, asshole.

then, he went on to insinuate, that the "major" revising i had to do was well-timed, given the upcoming christmas holiday. in other words, that i was expected to be working on this while at home, on christmas morning, or while playing scrabble with my ailing grandmother. yeah, right, buddy.

needless to say, dennis doesn't have the most tact when it comes to social situations, and that i'm glad i no longer live with him.

moving forward

- reviews of my paper came back: accepted with "major" revisions. they actually used the word "major". it was really hard for me to read the reviews. their nature is to be harsh, critical, and unless your paper is near perfect, they don't have too many positive things to say. and we all know how well i take criticism. enrique thought they were pretty good reviews. i thought he was crazy. i responded to them by diving head-first into experiments: i pounded out 3 solid, consecutive days of experiments on the microscope. procrastination by occupation, escape by keeping busy with something else. that sort of thing. i think i am finally ready to confront the reviews and revising my paper.

one of the things that's been hard about all this is that enrique's been really busy lately, not just with committee & grant work, but with helping other people in lab write papers. i guess i'm not at a terribly critical point so i don't need a lot of his attention, and it is saying something that he doesn't need to be holding my hand through every step. but a bit more guidance might be nice. i could always ask for it...

i have to come to terms with the fact that i am just not as social as some people -- as most of my friends, actually. i do like to go out, but on my own terms, when i'm in the mood for it, and i can't always predict what i'm going to feel like doing in advance. i definitely seem to need more "me" time than patrice does; she will go hang out with alicia or abby on a random sunday night. me, i'd rather sit at home by myself, especially after an active, social weekend. but that's OK.

heading home for X-mas in 4 days. yikes! where did december go?? don't have all my plans ironed out for what i'm going to try to do and who i'm going to try to see while i'm home. my big 3 are fred, doug, and katy sullivan et al. there's always the car issue, too -- trying to negotiate the borrowing of a car while i'm home in FdL. i still feel bad asking for one...but i shouldn't. ask, if it's a big deal, my parents can say no. oh yeah, i need to try to relax in there sometime, too.

discoveries

two things i've discovered lately:

- climbing is a lot of fun. part of it is using your entire body to pull yourself up a wall; part of it is the adrenaline rush you get from being 40 ft off the ground, your life in the hands of a knot and your belayer; part of it is doing something that has a learning curve for me again -- each time i go, i'm a little bit better, a little bit stronger, can climb something a little bit more difficult, all without trying terribly hard, which is very much the opposite of frisbee. my first day out, i could barely manage 5.5's. now i'm completing 5.6+'s, nearly mastering 5.7's, and holding my own on 5.8's.

- baked alaska is delicious and terribly caloric. if i ever need to gain 10 lbs in a sitting and it's not thanksgiving, i now know what to eat.

vocab

capricious
contrivances

p.s. i must be a dork because i became giddy upon reading the following sentence fragment: "...muscle, which is a cellular viscoelastic solid of constant volume."

bone of wishes

hope springs eternal when there is a wishbone to be pulled upon, a birthday candle to be blown out, a fortune cookie to be opened. it doesn't take a scientist to know that belief in these...traditions? superstitions? wives tales? what are they?... is silly and not founded in reason. but yet the appeal of placing your destiny into an act of chance -- into how the dried bone of a bird carcass will snap when you pull on it -- was too great for this logician to resist.

it's quite a morbid act, when you stop and think about it, and i wonder how it came about. regardless, i find that these little glimmers of hope are all i have sometimes. oases in the desert. morsels in the famine. just a little something to keep me going. the other week i got chinese take-out, and they gave me not one, not two, but three fortune cookies. i rationed them, saving them for days when i felt like i needed a message sealed in a cookie to tell me what to do, or that everything would be OK (in bed). because i understood on some level the draw of taking fate out of your own hands, and putting it in the hands of the supernatural.

do i really think what i wished for when i pulled on the wishbone will come true? and that whatever merritt was wishing for won't come true? in that instant, when the bone broke in my favor, was my life altered, set upon the course that will grant my wish? does it matter? is the real gift, the real wish that was granted here, hope? a spark to keep me going? to not give up. to not see my outlook as bleak? to believe that good things will happen to me? that i will not be alone? that i am lovable and capable of being loved (which are two different things, mind you)?

maybe, when i was wishing for someone to love me, i really just wanted to love myself.