just what i needed

my quintessential post-tournament unproductiveness lasted a bit longer than usual, spilling over into today, tuesday. i got out of bed a decent hour (for me at least -- by 9am) but i lingered over breakfast and my first cup (ok more like pot) of coffee from my new gevalia coffee maker. car-related errands were then run, at the leisurely hour of 11, and the decision not to go into lab today was made ~12:30, after said errands (my car failed the gas cap part of the CT state emissions test so that took longer and involved an additional stop i had not anticipated...not that i really had a definite plan in my unproductive state), since i was meeting shannon out at the IM fields at 4:30 to retrieve the bag of clothes i had left at her place over the weekend. i did manage to get some lab-related work done, mostly involving the reading of, thinking about, and commenting on a book chapter, but even the most positive spin on my situation could not deny that this half-completed task was a paltry show for the past two days of work.

but off to women's pick-up i went, even leaving early. but it seems to have been just what i needed to snap myself out of this "dear lord i don't want to be doing this, i'd rather be playing ultimate, so i'll think and e-mail and read blogs about and watch videos of ultimate instead of doing anything for society" funk. i was going to get some exercise, perhaps even a work-out. we had decent numbers (6-on-6 by the end) and the level of play was respectable. i guarded some small, quick women which forced me to work on my foot-work on defense. i pushed myself to run hard, to cut even when tired. i allowed myself to throw some flick hucks, one of which was decent, and to jam and I/O flick break past merritt (who is 6'2") to a barely-open alicia for a score. i pulled and focused on form. i didn't get angry about drops, miscommunications, or atrocious defense. as selfish and bitchy as it may sound, i was there for myself, and focusing on the things i could control that would contribute to this being a useful experience, helped me to enjoy pick-up more.

this change in mental aura carried over to post-pick-up, when i made the "clutch" decision to not go out drinking, instead opting to have a beer with dinner, get some household chores done (doing the pile of dishes i'd let accumulate since friday, taking out the trash which i filled with rotting fruit), and attempt to finish the lab-related task i'd begun earlier in the day. this latter goal was not accomplished, but i did meet my quota of downloads from e-music for this month (they don't carry over -- annoying!), chatted, cut up the ripening cantaloupe so as to make its consumption and my 5-a-day fruit-intake more readily attainable, dreamed about doing a NOLS course, and did make some progress on lab work. and certainly not least among my accomplishments this evening, i set up my new coffee maker on the kitchen counter and set the AUTO ON function for 8am, so i will awaken at an even more respectable hour tomorrow, to the invigorating aroma of coffee, which i hope will enliven some sort of motivation to complete the book chapter review.

tomorrow is a new day and i hesitate to set too high of goals for myself, less i fail to accomplish them and this provide my inner critic fodder with which to beat myself up. but i have hopes for a caffeine-fueled motivated start to the day, and i tend to fare well when i get off to a good start. here's to hoping...

not lost

there is a difference between not being where you want to be / not taking the route you intended and being lost. in the former situation, you still know around-about where you are, you are more or less confident in the direction you are headed, and you know from where you've come and how to get back home. when you're lost, you have no clue of any of the above.

it's kinda like this bike route i have. the first time tara and i took it, we missed a turn and ended up far from where we intended -- but still not-lost. the second time i did the route on my own, took the first turn, but missed a second, and ended up on whitney ave -- a far busier street than i'd have like to been on, but i still knew where i was. the third time, i found the second street, but turned wrongly onto it: broadway turns into ives, and then ives branches off of it -- i wanted to stay on ives (not make a turn) then turn on new. but i still was not-lost. next time (hopefully tomorrow morning if i'm not a total lazy ass), i will nail the route and it will rock.

right now, in life, i feel like i'm not lost. it's maybe not where i want to be, or had intended to be, in some respects, but i have an idea of where i'm headed, and how to get back to where i want to be. but even when you're not-lost, you can still enjoy the ride, and that's what i'm trying to do. you come across some things you might not have and might end up enjoying the route more than your intended one.

i'm coming up on a big intersection in my life-route...will i continue to be not-lost? or will i look at a map? stop at a gas station and ask for directions? get out my compass? enlist the help of a navigator? follow someone else? we shall see. for now i'll just try to enjoy the ride.

trip

aug 11-14: wisconsin

10-year high school reunion saturday night. weird and awkward and fun all in one. glad i went. weird to see some people i hadn't even thought about in 10 years, but also good to see some people (matt raboin, meghan boyle to name a few).

drove down to platteville to visit grandma. she is slowly but surely recovering from 2 surgeries (1 planned for her back; the other unplanned for a ruptured gastric ulcer. complications from both (heart failure) made her recovery slower than anticipated). games, crosswords, food, & chatting. stopped in madison on the way back for a drink with courtney.



aug 14-17: washington, seattle & lynden & seattle

flew out to seattle/washington early to visit my relative (aunt & uncle & cousins) who live up in lynden, WA. stayed at skip's in seattle tuesday night. good to hang out with him. drove up to lynden first thing wednesday morning, stopping at a best buy along the way to buy a camera (!). chatted with sue, talked with josh about his recent 10-week trip to europe (which sounds & looks awesome), then lunch with them + jeff. got a tour of the garden from jeff, then sue drove me around the area in the afternoon. went out to birch bay which has the "mud flats" -- the coast is so gradual that there is an area that doesn't ever completely dry off during low tide and the result is muddy sand. it's cool to walk in. took some pictures. drove up to the canadian border, which was cool. saw where jeff works. dinner: delicious, delicious, fresh-caught salmon. mmmmmmmm. watched "Top Chef" on TiVo, further deepening my love of automatic digital recording technology.

thursday, went for a hike in the north cascades with jeff & josh. drove all the way up to heather meadows and hiked out to chain lakes and back. cool, overcast weather, but still gorgeous and fun. just great to be out in the fresh air. parts of the trip looked familiar from my backpacking trip in 2004 -- the ranger station in glacier, douglas fir campsite, the nooksack river, hannigan pass... on the way back we discovered that my rental car had optional techtronic shifting, which made for a fun drive down the winding mountain roads.

thursday evening, headed back into seattle to watch the showcase games between the local seattle teams and the visiting japanese teams (MUD & buzz bullets). MUD defeated riot, and sockeye beat BB. good games. thurs night stayed at the titcombs on lake sammammish -- xthen, zalen, viro, & qhina (i am probably spelling them wrong), plus viro's gf diane. they are all so chill & cool.

friday, went for a run in the morning on the path along the lake, then a jump in the lake (so refreshing!). lunch with catherine on the UW campus on portage bay. she is pregnant! and surviving her post-doc. not sure what she wants to do next but trucking along. chaos meeting up with teammates. eventually found them at charlie/meatball's place. from there, to the harbor & pike's market. then a mariner's game with steve & dan -- ran into seth crockford on the street before the game (he was going as well). nice stadium, good game, great decision. back to the titcombs for some sleep.


august 18-19: ECC/spawnfest
not really sure what the proper name for the tournament is. good competition. great fields. delicious dinner. spectated some amazing ultimate.

Slow went 4-2 on the weekend, beating Brass 14-11, Horde (Whoreshack) 15-6, Flycoons 15-12? on Saturday, then Flaming Moe in the rain 15-12ish. then we stuck our thumbs up our asses and lost to Mischief 6-15. i don't know what it is about them, but we just don't play well against them. final game against Shazam was better, but still lost 11-15. it was 4-8 at half, then 9-13. we pulled within 11-13, but failed to convert during a marathon point (had at least 4 chances...one on the endzone).

i was playing mostly offense, and often b/c hammer was injured, which is still weird for me, but i am slowly adjusting mentally. learning how to cut with greytak & dan. cut confidently when i did cut, but need to gain confidence in my throws. didn't play particularly well...had some uncharacteristic drops which i am most upset about. some not-good throws, but they were in the rain. caught some goals, made some good cuts, had some nice catches -- and played good D when we turned it. legs felt good endurance, strength, & speed-wise. so, overall a step in the right direction. (rolled my ankle...was able to play afterwards but it still hurts the day after)

watched the open finals: rematch of sockeye vs. buzz bullets. GREAT game. one of the best i've ever seen, live or on film. sockeye won 17-16. good heckling, too.

good to see a lot of people: the mischief people (lori, steffi, paul, dan O), the brass people (josh, margo, sven, pat hard), the boston people (jasper, teddy, kurt gibson, fortch, cobbett, j-co), brute (beth, betsy, mack, christie, sarah), the sockeye people (skip, will, seth, idaho, ben...sorta), the other people (lauren casey, andrew brown, ted tripoli, charlie, carla, nate segal, schwa & moe), the new people (ryan on mischief, skizip from ultivillage, tim on flycoons, the ring dude i sat next to during the saturday showcase game?...oh names escaping me...).

red-eye back sunday night...took monday off to sleep, grocery shop, unpack & do laundry. back to the grind tomorrow...