recovery time

in interval training, one of the goals is to reduce the recovery time between bouts of intense exercise. one week you might go hard for 60 sec, or 400 m, and then rest 2:00. the next week, you might reduce your rest to 1:30, then 1:00. decrease your recovery time, increase your fitness.

one of my proudest post-D day moments, was not walking with my head held high, or navigating a difficult time without showing the slightest emotion. no, it was falling apart, unexpectedly, but putting myself back together in under a minute. 

it was the 8am CrossFit class on a Sunday. i'd had a good night the night before, and was having a good morning. i don't love working out in the mornings -- i feel stronger in the evenings -- but i do like the sense of accomplishment and energy an AM workout provides. so I push through the weakness and light-headedness on the weekends.

a guy, let's call him A, showed up at the class. our schedules don't normally overlap, so i wasn't expecting to see him. A is also a realtor, and had agreed to stop by the house to give his opinion on its value. that was planned for Monday. 

Saturday had actually been more precarious than i was perhaps admitting at the time. in the afternoon Andy & I met to begin divvying up possessions. and while that went well -- amicably, even jovially -- the exercise was deeply sad on a basic level, and it got to me after a while. the evening had been nice enough -- dinner with LD and Gronk. but at the bar after dinner, we ran into an old Fairfield ultimate guy, who brought Andy up -- not knowing my relationship with him -- and said, "He's a nice guy." i didn't correct him.

the first part of the workout usually isn't that intense, but today it was. It was an EMOM of heavy cleans, rope climbs, and burpees. i was already feeling light-headed, and in warming up my clean, i mis-calculated the weight, thought i was lifting 10# less than i was, and was frustrated with not feeling strong. the clock gets start, i do my first clean, i feel lightheaded, the coach gives me some feedback, i get frustrated, and start crying / hyper-ventilating. the coach has me sit down on a box, and i think "well this workout is over". but some part of me says, "No. I have 40 sec to do another clean." and i take a few deep breaths, get my shit together, and hit another clean.

to go from hysterical, to cleaning over 100# in under 60 sec is pretty damn impressive.

i'm proud of this because shit's not going to be perfect. i am going to get upset unexpectedly. something unexpected is going to set me off, and i'm going to have to figure out how to re-compose myself quickly. and that's what i did.

this skill came in handy during our first "real" session with the mediator today. she was trying to take a step back from the details of the financial negotiations, to understand over-arching goals and motivations, so the conversation took an emotional turn. i was trying to explain why i felt getting paid back was fair; the affair came up; and i think the honeymoon and how he'd already been cheating on me at that point. why did you marry her if she had emotionally abandoned you? i sense uncertainty; are you sure you want to divorce? Andy saying what i did to his was irrevocable; thinking about Her. i started to get upset, and excused myself to go to the bathroom. by the time i got there, i was already starting to calm down. rapid recovery time, saving me again.