standing up for myself

i did it. i wrote my dad an e-mail about my Schwab account. i talked about it with Lisa today, and we went through the scenario of how the "conversation" would go. (yeah, so e-mail isn't really a conversation, but it's the closest thing a wuss like me can get to communicating with my big bad scary father.) this is how i came to muster the courage and the tact to finally express to him what's been on my mind in a manner that i hope is healthy for me and will be construed by him to be reasonable and not accusative. (because i don't want to be accusative just yet...)

in my e-mail, i said:

(a) i was confused about the balance actually was (the total account value is $7000, there is only $1100 available to withdraw, and there is like -$12,000 in margin. i don't know what margin is, but i don't like that mine is negative.)

(b) i would like to take over complete control of my finances. i painted it as a "i'd like to be a more responsible adult" sort of thing rather than a "what the fuck have you done with all my money?!" sort of thing. i showed that i am competent and prepared by finding an e-savings account from Citibank that offers 5.0% APR. which is good, for a savings account. and that's all i need at this point in my life. i'm not making enough that i can be putting away tons and taking risks with my investments. i need something safe and secure, and the good interest rate is a plus.

and i am undestandably anxious now, waiting for his response. no wonder i felt like diving into that pint of ice cream sitting in the freezer: i just stood up to my dad. i rocked the boat. and i am scared as to how he is going to respond. but i shouldn't be. i made a perfectly reasonable request, and if it turns out he feels bad about losing me money, tough -- he should feel bad. wow. feeling and expressing anger, towards my father. wonders never cease.