giving of the thanks

rather than get all sentimental and talk about what in my life i am thankful for, i will discuss, instead, how i am responsible for the death of one very large bird.

sure, i've had turkey at thanksgiving before. pretty much every year, in fact. even the year our kitchen was being remodeled and my mom made dinner in the microwave; even the year i was in australia. i don't remember what i did in france, but i'm sure an animal was involved somehow. but, in years past, while i've had a breast here, a wing there, left-overs galore, never have i felt more involved in the conversion of animal to food.

you see, i cooked my first thanksgiving turkey this year. and i am not one to go half-way in matters as important as american tradition or food. oh no. my first turkey tipped the scales at 18.9 lbs. and in "cooking" a turkey, i did more than just throw it in an oven and make sure it reached an internal temperature sufficient to kill any bacteria that might render my friends sick enough to not invite me back to thanksgiving dinner next year. and that's why i am haunted with this bird's life.

ok, i really don't feel that guilty. i am unapologetically an omnivore. i enjoy my tofu, garden burgers, and the occasional soy dessert. but i do like meat. i enjoy the taste, and i rely on the quick punch of satisfying protein it provides. so while i did try to assuage my misgivings about all the damage i was doing to the environment by purchasing an "all-natural" turkey (and paid through the nose for it), it was with a curious detachment -- truly befitting of a scientist, i must say -- that i went about my task of turning the dead foul into a pile of bones.

when you reach into the body cavity of a dead animal and remove its innards that have conveniently been placed into a paper sack; when you baste the animal in its own juices and fats while slowly roasting it in a hot oven; when you tear off its limbs after its been cooked, so that you may rip off every last piece of meat from the bones; when you boil the picked-over carcass for hours and hours to extract every last juice from its marrow -- that's when you truly come to terms with your meat-eating. next year, i'm thinking of going hunting, or at least slaughtering the bird myself, so i feel even closer to the "circle of life".

it was especially interesting for me, having had the experience of "harvesting" actin from rabbits this year. the protein i work on in lab is called actin, and it is one of two main proteins that make up muscle. we get our supply from freshly-slaughtered rabbits. and i'm not kidding when i say fresh: the muscles are still twitching as we knife them off the rabbits' back & legs. then we pack the rabbit-meat on ice and rush back to lab, where the muscle goes through a meat grinder. later, we have to manually separate the actin proteins from the tough, stringy fibrous tendons. and lo and behold, turkeys have tendons too, which juxtaposed this animal i had just eaten to the animals that were sacrificed for my research. and i must reluctantly admit, that it was pretty cool to be seeing the things i read about in terms of sports injuries and biopolymers (tendons are made of collagen) in the animal i just prepared and ate and am now tearing apart.

and the bones! the bones were also very cool. the head of the arm/wing bone was so round and smooth, yet shaped so it fit into the "shoulder" socket. it was amazing how well-designed they were...how well they fit together. and yes, i know i am touching upon the evolution vs. intelligent design debate, and i'm a scientist so we all know where i stand, but seeing this stuff first-hand...it was amazing.

i had thanksgiving dinner with my friend merritt, and some of her fellow med students. so there was much medical talk, and we mused aloud at the anatomy of the turkey, and inevitably compared it to the anatomy of a human, much like i was doing above. "what's that?" "that's the breast bone." "then what's the wishbone?" "a fused sternum?" and then we paused and considered how difficult vet school must be, having to learn the anatomy of all those different animals. better to just eat them and speculate, in my opinion.

oh, i should mention that i didn't know which way was "up" on the turkey. my recipe clearly instructed to place the bird "breast up" in the roasting pan, but gave no indication how to ascertain where the breast actually was on the decapitated, detailed, and naked bird. after checking a couple of pictures of finished products on display on the dinner table on-line, i was able to determine which side of the bird was the breast, and it was all down-hill from there. curiously, breast-side-up is up-side-down, so not only are we killing and maiming this poor animal, we are further humiliating it by cooking it on its back. whatever gives me juicy white meat.

and, in case you were wondering, the turkey turned out beautiful and delicious, and i have more turkey products than i know what to do with. i wouldn't be surprised if, in 3 months time, after i've forgotten about all the turkey-things i put in the freezer, a complete, live turkey emerged from my freezer, pecking for revenge. now there's a horror movie waiting to happen.